Discoveries

Sometimes this place just cracks me up, they have the oddest things here. I know it's only weird because I'm not familiar with it, but the unintentional hilarity remains. Let me share a few noteworthy examples.

We decided to go all out last night for our anniversary. That's right, we threw caution to the wind and said to hell with it...let's go to Pizza Hut. Yes, I know it's a little tacky, but we've been craving greasy pizza, and dammit, we're proud of our fatty American food heritage. As we discovered, though, the Pizza Huts here aren't like the ones in the US. They're a lot nicer; they're dine in restaurants, more along the lines of an Olive Garden. There were actually people on dates...at Pizza Hut. They give you big menus and everything, which was where I discovered this monstrosity:

It's called the Crunchy Cheesy Bites Pizza, and as far as I can tell, it's cheese filled dough covered in cornflakes that you dip in melted cheese sauce. I don't really think it qualifies as a pizza, or even as actual food. I've since seen at least three commercials for this; someone is trying to sneak a piece but the CRUNCH gives him away, and then the creepy plastic looking family all laughs. We were really tempted to get one, but we don't hate ourselves that much.

So it was actually a fun meal, we got some garlic bread and a pepperoni and mushroom deep dish pizza, which was everything we'd hoped it would be. After that, we walked around the mall for awhile and window shopped. We passed by a KFC, which was advertising these:

Ah, the KFC Egg Tart. Sounds delicious, doesn't it? Except that it's egg, and, you know, made by KFC. Yikes.

We went into a DVD store to browse and see if anything was on sale. There's an action movie coming out here next week called Ip Man 2 which Mike wants to see, but obviously we'll be totally lost without seeing the first one. So as we were looking, I came across a movie that I really wanted to buy so I could prove I'm not lying when I describe it. It was called Battlespace, and the cover featured a woman who was dressed like Lara Croft, with the braid and gun belt and boots. But I guess the tank top and tiny shorts were too restrictive, because this woman was wearing a bikini instead. In the background there were several screen shots of what was clearly Casper Van Dean in Starship Troopers. Not just one, mind you, but like three of him, all from a movie that is NOT Battlespace. And then on the back of the DVD, there were yet more shots from Starship Troopers, and when I looked at the credits, they were for a Russian film called Prisoner of the Mountains. Directed by Sergei Brodov. And this was in the English movie section.

As if that weren't awesome enough, we decided to go into a grocery store we saw on the next level. I think we somehow stumbled upon the Singapore equivalent of Fiesta Mart, except this place is called Carnival! So everything in it is really cheap, but slightly off-brand. Also, the whole store stinks because they have a durian station in the middle of it where they cut and package the fruit. For anyone who doesn't know, durian is an Asian fruit that supposedly tastes really good, but smells like death. A lot of places won't even sell it, but this store had it out front and center. So we're walking through the store, trying not to breathe too deeply, and I notice they have some packaged deals on display. Now these are pretty common in the US, too, like when you see shampoo and conditioner in one big package, or two types of cereal together. But I had to stop and laugh, because this was a 2 liter bottle of olive oil with a squeeze bottle of ketchup stuck to it. I don't know what kind of meal this makes, and I don't want to know. Also, who needs 2 liters of olive oil? That's like half a gallon of oil. Unless you're drinking the stuff like apple juice, I really think that's a bit excessive.

So needless to say, this was pretty much the best anniversary ever. And certainly one we'll remember.